We’re looking forward to co-hosting tonight’s #BEaLEADER Twitterchat as @PrPinkPonies/@PrettyPinkPro and our networks from Meetup.com, Etsy, USC et al…
If you ask people who’ve met me in passing somewhere out in the scene, you might hear my personality described as “dramatic”, “loves attention”, “loves the limelight”, etc…
I’ve always been a little bit, shall we say,
irrational, devoted when it comes to my Sunnies. Like certain women from Texas who have a thing for bouffants, I’ve always believed that bigger is better. Or, in the words of Magdalena de la Cruz, the protagonist of my novel So L.A. “As long as you have a good purse and big enough sunglasses you can get away with anything in Los Angeles.”
Case in point? See “Post Exhibit A” (archived by my mother) wherein I rock a gingham chambray jumper and fashion a pair of red sunglasses in perfect “Sunnies-Quite-Possibly-Bigger-than-my-Face” style. I was maybe two.
Come to think of it, it could be said that the best part about Los Angeles is the fact that you can wear Sunnies anywhere, anytime, always. It matters not that you’re indoors. Nor does it matter that it’s after dark. I’m going out on a glamor limb here, dangling dangerously from a date palm tree, but I’m going to admit that in addition to sporting Sunnies to match my dress, I may even have sunglasses for different qualities of light. I mean, doesn’t everyone?
My best pair of Sunnies, by far, were a vintage pair of off-white Dior glasses (see “Post Exhibit B”). They were HUGE in the best possible way. And they died a tragic death in the hands of my daughter, who, when she was two, went on a spiteful sunglass busting bender. She just snapped every pair she could find: crack, pop, burst, like a wishbone the week after Thanksgiving. I was devastated. In fact, I still am.
In the hours after, when I was in shock and unveiled disbelief, I rushed out of the house with my puffy eyes exposed and drove them to three (yes I said three) certified optometrists, an ophthalmologist, a jeweler and a patio-glass repair man (that was when I was really desperate) but all six told me the same thing: Ma’am I’m sorry but…
Even still I couldn’t part with them. I keep the left “arm” as well as the right “three-quarters” of these glasses (of these tinted, broken dreams) on my desk as a reminder of who I used to be. They are joined by four other, less meaningful pairs, that were also busted by the baby. It’s a variable vintage sunglasses graveyard.
My current (favorite) Sunnies are newer and slightly smaller (not by choice) and much less fabulous, but in quintessential Didion fashion, they are about three-and-one-half inches round and a muted grey (perhaps because I am still in mourning?)
I’m often cut off mid-sentence and asked, “But..what do you wanna do?”.
Fair enough question.
(SPOILER: There are no images in this post)
It isn’t as if I responsibly mapped out my professional trajectory like I was taught to do…Instead, I followed my heart (whatever that means) and learned important lessons along the way. But, that doesn’t help clarify things, does it?
How silly was I to add “passion” to the bulletpoints on my resume? The entire Dalek population would explode attempting to grasp this concept.
That said, using a wordcloud tool has failed to capture the essence of the value I can add to any organization – instinct, experience, heart, loyalty, intuition, perserverance, empathy, connection, et al…These terms are not trending on LinkedIn – Google alerts would’ve informed me, and I just checked.
So, since my unorthodox list of accomplishments are invisible to search engines (and, incomprehensible to Daleks), I decided to explicity define “success” for myself as a courtesy to my new friends and acquaintances.
Here is what my point B looks like:
*You’re having your A.M. coffee while reading about the biggest networking event of the year on a page in the WSJ.
(Blurb for one of many well-known international events)
The text reads:
Notable Speakers include:
Abby Joseph Cohen one of the most respected figures in investing circles and is the chief US investment strategist for Goldman Sachs Group, Inc.
Anna Wintour, Editor-in-Chief, Vogue
Carrie Fisher, Actress best known as Princess Leia
Sarah Blakely, CEO & Founder, Spanx
Genevieve Bos, Founding Publisher, Pink Magazine
Sheila Kahanek, former Accountant, Enron.
I hope that helped clarify some things for you.
Have a great weekend!!!
*end scene;P(SPOILER: To be continued…)
Bridget is a friend, mentor, inspiration, advisor, twitter follower, confidante, et cetera…
I learned a lot about self-acceptance from Bridget’s writing advice during my years as an undgrad (and afterwards).
As it turns out, writers view words as instruments by which individuals connect to others. I learned that writing can be formatted in any way as long as the message and the spirit of the message are successfully transported to another — carrying with it the essence of its source.
Writing is a vehicle.
And, unlike perfectly formatted bullets on a memo, the musings of a good writer isn’t only concerned with getting you to point B -- she wants to take you on a ride!!!
Congrats on your beautiful book, B. And, thanks for the ride.
— HBR Exchange (@HBRexchange) May 25, 2012
[<a href="http://storify.com/hbrexchange/hbrchat-overcome-your-work-addiction" target="_blank">View the story "HBRchat: Overcome Your Work Addiction" on Storify</a>]
HBR Twitter chats: #HBRchat
Look at the last thing you bought, what problem did it solve, what benefit did you buy?
— Ronald Skelton (@ronaldskelton) May 6, 2012
How much thought do we put into where we spend our time, energy and money? Do you consider how the product in your shopping basket got to your hand? How was it manufactured? Whose idea was it to create this? What was intended when the decision to produce the product was made?
Let us know — do you think it matters???
We encourage you to pause and think about what message you’re helping create each time you make a purchase or decision. What you buy makes a bigger statement than you think — it supports ideas, practices and institutions. Be smart. Choose wisely.
Thanks for stopping by.
All the best,
Below is a link to the recent #HBRchat (Twitter discussion forum) with Harvard Business Review.
This popular weekly chat is moderated by @HBRexchange. One of the more engaging chats on Twitter.
If you have a moment to follow the transcript from yesterday’s chat to see how it works, we’ve provided a link below.
Yesterday’s chat was especially interesting in that everyone had varying perspectives on whether or not and how much rivalry affects productivity in professional teams. Good exchange by all.
Have a wonderful weekend!!!
HBR Twitter chats: #HBRchat
— HBR Exchange (@HBRexchange) April 27, 2012
What 3P had to say:@UneFrancofille @MikePWeiss re: competition should stay “on the field”. Separate professional from personal. #HBRChat
Rivalry is selfish; Your responsibility is to do what’s best for your entire team — not undermine it. #HBRChat
@svsashank : #Agreed. Leaders are obligated to create a culture of professionalism and integrity. #HBRChatHBR:Workplace rivalries can be so destructive, it’s not enough to simply ignore, sidestep, or attempt to contain them. Instead, effective leaders must turn rivals into collaborators—strengthening their positions, their networks, and their careers in the process. In fact, it’s important to think of these relationships not as chronic illnesses you have to endure but as wounds that must be treated in order for you to lead a healthy work life.
This week’s #HBRchat is based on the HBR article “Make Your Enemies Your Allies” by Brian Uzzi and Shannon Dunlap. http://hbr.org/2012/05/make-your-enemies-your-allies/ar/1
Q1. Have destructive workplace rivalries affected your career? How?
Q2. How can you redirect a rival’s negative feelings towards you?
Q3. Have you ever had success working with a one-time rival or seen others?
Here’s the link to HBR’s chat, Turn Your Enemies into Allies: http://storify.com/hbrexchange/hbrchat-topic-april-26-turn-your-enemies-into-all
You were known as a focused player who wasn’t very personable. Did that hurt your career?
Well, it had a negative effect on how I was portrayed. But I had no one to explain the value of public relations to me. When I was in college, there was such an intense demand from the press that John Wooden said they couldn’t talk to me at all. So that was what I took for normal going into the NBA. Being at the top of my game and working as hard as I could for the people who employed me—that was my primary focus, and everything else was secondary. So I didn’t always respond to social situations in a pleasant way. When it came to talking to people, I was kind of reserved. But shyness is something you have to overcome. Later in my career, I started doing a lot better relating to fans and talking to the media. I think that’s continued to improve in my retirement.
Excellent interview with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Harvard Business Review. This interview highlights elements of success and transcends industries beyond sports. We continue to explore lessons from athletes on tonight’s #3PChat with @RickardonSports. Please follow and ask questions using “#3PCwin”. Thank you.
This interview discusses:
- Why PR matters in addition to your team’s results.
- What role managers play in development.
- Being multi-dimensional
- How to play with Magic.
- How being described as “difficult” hurts your game.
- Improvement in general.
- Being accessible.
- How to market and sell yourself.
- Et cetera…
We highly recommend this interview with Kareem as he reflects on his trajectory as he evolved from a great player to a winning player on and off court:
I receive applicable and straightforward career advice by listening to the Manager Tools, LLC podcast.
One of the topics I found most useful is what hosts, Mark and Mike, refer to as “behavioral diversity”. In simple terms, behavioral diversity refers to the concept that our tendencies are some combination of four broad categories represented by the letters D,I,S & C in the DiSC model.
I won’t go into DiSC theory here as it is lengthy and there are better resources of information for this behavior identification model. You also have to take a test to better understand your own behavioral profile.
That said, if you’re already somewhat familiar with DiSC, the outline we provide in this post (below) of the basic behavior types may serve as a useful communication reference guide.
As Mark often says (via Drucker, perhaps), “communication is what the listener does”.
Meg & the Ponies
Please note: the DiSC information was published and is owned by
© 2012 Manager Tools, LLC. All rights reserved
Can love improve mental and physical health and aid in our response to pain?
Can love make us wiser?
Included in this post is a link to an interesting piece by Diane Ackerman on a new field in science, interpersonal neurobiology (in other words, the science of relationships).
The fundamental idea of interpersonal neurobiology draws its vigor from one of the great discoveries of our era: that the brain is constantly rewiring itself based on daily life.
What we pay most attention to defines who we are — physically altering our brains…
The article argues that how one chooses to spend the hours in our lives literally shapes our physical selves.
By Kate Carraway
Caitlin Flanagan’s new book Girl Land posits that adolescent girls, negotiating the difficult transition from children to young women, are met with a culture that seeks to exploit and endanger them sexually. Flanagan (a contributor to The Atlantic and an often elegant writer who just as often applies a smug and wilful ignorance to established feminist arguments), writes that girls long “to be in two places at once: the safety of little girlhood, with the stuffed animals and the jump ropes and the simplicity of childhood, but also in the new place, in the arms of a lover whom she wants to ravish her, to deliver her to new shores.”
When I worked full time in corporate America, I was always polished and groomed at the office. I worked in an environment where presentation and details made a huge impact on the perception of one’s sense of professionalism.
That said, it was always so refreshing to become “un-pretty” during weekends.
What does it mean to be “un-pretty”? First, let’s take a look at what “pretty” means:
I define ‘pretty’ as being polite, pleasant and polished. ”Pretty” is the very essence of being a lady — coiffed hair, a manicure, a poise presentation, warm, approachable and socially graceful. (Think of a house party’s hostess – friendly and sociable). Someone “pretty” offers you coffee and cookies when you visit their homes. The “pretty” girl tells you how great you look (to simplify the concept); she is concerned about whether or not you’re comfortable and considers what your preferences are.
When I use the term “un-pretty”, I’m not implying that I made an effort to look unattractive (although, a lot of times, this was the case). What I mean is, my style of presentation was less ladylike and lacked the polish and niceties one would expect from a pageant-trained woman.
How does one achieve a “pretty” look?
Feminine make up highlighting the shape of one’s eyes + full lips + groomed brows and hairstyle + polished ready-to-face-the-camera style + tailored and put-togehter – any piece of hair out of place
I love the “un-pretty” side of my closet as much as the polished and tailored pieces I own. It’s necessary, at times, to wear wrinkled shirts, athletic shoes, cotton tees and unruly hair. I say this because I think it’s an advantage to be comfortable even without having to project the socially-constructed version of “girl”. You can be attractive in various ways — wearing pearls and a tiara or sneakers and a baseball cap.
To me, an un-pretty style can convey the gritty sexiness of Marlon Brando’s Stanley Kowalski.
Un-pretty means dressing with style without having to make a lot of effort — in So Cal this laid-back style is one that many non- L.A. natives try very hard to emulate. It’s the confidence in one’s self without having to look like a doll who took two hours to apply make up.
It’s an image that actors and models (who spend their working days in full make-up) naturally have on their days off. A look that conveys the understanding that if they wanted to, they could very well shave their scruff and be as pretty as they come. The “unpretty” girl doesn’t necessarily say ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ in a bubbly voice. She may give you a smirk or a nod of acknowledgement if she’s pleased with you.
Simplified, the “unpretty” girl asks you for a smoke without taking into consideration whether or not you approve of her smoking. She is not as self-conscious as her socially-graceful “pretty” girl counterpart.
How does one achieve this un-pretty too-cool-to-care style?
“undone hair” + cotton tee + element of relaxed or athletic gear – bubbly persona – string of pearls – “matchy-matchy” accessories + grit + attitude…
Q. What’s the big deal with Pinterest? Why is Pinterest so amazing? Continue reading
Our blog has reached over 30,000 visits since its first post in April 2011.
While this is an inconsequential number compared to other blogs on the web, this is a huge number to myself and to those who have contributed their time to write posts, respond to interview questions, take photographs, edit, review, promote, recommend, etc…
Maintaining a blog is tedious work especially when one isn’t paid to do it.
Thank you for following, reading, commenting, recommending and sharing our posts.
We’ve enjoyed hearing from you and about you. You not only help create the PrettyPinkPonies brand, you are part of the PrettyPinkPonies brand! We look forward to getting to know more about you and growing with you as our blog and brand continue to grow.
Thanks, again, for your visit. It is encouraging and much much appreciated.
Meg and the Pretty Pink Ponies brand.
Tweet to @prettypinkpro
Glossy Magazine Issue 7…
Thank you for the rockstar treatment…
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Recently, I had a friend ignore me for months because she “needed a break from friendships” because of her busy schedule and life. I completely understand how busy people can be and how friendships can take a beating because you simply don’t have time. But I personally think that you have to take the time to maintain friendships, no matter what. Friendship is one of the best things about life, so why take it for granted?
1. Schedule friend time like you schedule your appointments. Even at your busiest, when you see something in your schedule or calendar, you know it has to be done. Sometimes, you may not feel like hanging out with friends when there are a million things to be done, but once you’re there and having fun, you’ll realize how much you needed that time to recharge.
2. Don’t make blowing off someone a habit. Most people are pretty understanding if someone has to cancel a friend date because of work, illness, or an emergency. But if you make a habit of cancelling plans and blowing people off… unfortunately, you’re sure to be friendless in no time.
3. Take the time to do nice things for your friends, even if they live far away and you don’t see them often. Make sure you talk on the phone, Skype, send notes on Facebook, pay for lunch every once in a while… the little things that mean a lot in friendships.
4. Be available. Often times, you really need your friends when something happens. Be available via phone, text, whatever and drop everything if a friend really needs you.
5. Reevaluate friendships and realize everyone makes mistakes. You will get busy and put off calling that friend and your friends may do the same with you. Small problems can always get worked out. But big problems, like when you feel like your friend doesn’t care about you anymore and they won’t talk about it, it may be time to let go of that friendship. Trust your gut.
Lauren is a fellow Gen.Y blogger and a recent college graduate with a degree from Oakland University in Journalism. Lauren contributes her writing to blogs, social media, online magazines and sites and provides insight to the lives of Twenty Somethings (Gen Y). We appreciate Lauren’s maturity and contributions to 3P and follow her advice.
You, too, can follow Lauren here:
Please vote for the image Pretty Pink Ponies submitted to the “Out of Office” Photo competition by clicking the link below.
Thank you very much!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Your comment was called out!
On this post: Managing The Psychological Bias Against Creativity
“ If the major deterrent to accepting “creative thinking” in the workplace is low tolerance for uncertainty, I would surmise that highly-regulated and high-risk industries have don’t evolve as quickly as others due to lack of innovation (“creativity”). Do you have any thoughts about the relationship between regulation and innovation? Thank you for posting this article. Much appreciated. 3P“