Meet The Family – (Will you act like a Focker?)

So,
you’ve won him over.

Before
I congratulate you, I’d like to remind you that the toughest is yet to come –
winning over his parents, his siblings and their family pets.
While
you may have done a great job planning for the holidays by buying greeting
cards and presents six months ahead of time, the invitation to meet his family
may be something you didn’t anticipate when scheduling 2011 back in 2010.
Here
are three questions that’ll help you prepare for this nerve-racking invitation:
As
with all social gathering events, I like to ponder the following three
questions when deciding what to wear, what to bring and other small details
that are key to making the best possible impression of yourself.
1.
Who
are you?
2.
Where
are you?
3.
Why
are you there?
Who
are you
?
In
other words, being confident in who you are in the face of possible rejection
can be tough. Regardless of what discomfort this might present, it’s important
to stand up for who you truly are.
Meeting
his parents isn’t your cue to turn into his mother’s vision of the perfect
woman for her son. Let go of your strategy to channel Betty Crocker and develop
a passion for collecting antique cat figurines by December. This plan is bound
to lead to disaster.
Nothing
is more impressive than a woman who is confident and comfortable in her own
skin and who handles conversations with diplomacy and grace.
If
his mother’s disappointed you’re not Betty Crocker, she’ll get over it if her
son’s happy and enjoying himself with you.
Where
are you?
Are
you meeting his family at their cozy home down South or at a fancy extravaganza
at their neighborhood’s 75th annual holiday gala? Either way, keep
in mind the occasion’s level of formality as well as the weather (in case
you’re traveling to a region you’ve never been before). It will not impress
anyone if you’re wearing your bedazzled cocktail dress to the Scrabble game
with close family and neighbors after holiday dinner. Obviously, a cozy sweater
and casual pants would be more ideal when playing with the family dog and your
date’s adorable nieces and nephews.
Err
on the side of practicality first, then decide how to express your awesome
style.
Why
are you there?
Well?
Why are you meeting his family? Are you there to learn more about how your new
boyfriend was brought up? Are you there to get to know him a little better? Or,
are you there because you’ve decided that this is an audition for an upcoming
role as their daughter-in-law? If you think a nice holiday with his fam is an
audition, don’t go.
I
repeat: don’t go.
This
trip is more about him than it is about you. Get to know his family. Get to
know him. Try and get an understanding of why he prefers pancakes to French
toast and bond with him. This isn’t your opportunity to show off your
baton-twirling act. This is your opportunity to connect with others and to show
that you’re honored to have been invited to share the holidays with their
family. What wins people over? No. Not your fancy Prada purse. You’re not going
to mingle with Bruno at the Milan fashion show (are you?).
People
are won over when you care about their interests and are considerate of their
needs. Talk about your Prada purse another time.
Best
of luck!
Meg

For other Love + Dating articles, visit MadeWomanMag.com

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