I’ve screwed up simple situations that most of you would’ve probably handled with more maturity, tact and foresight.
*enter growing pains + embarrassing realizations
I take time to wax introspective on my behavior, my thinking, my values, et cetera…to understand how I managed to make silly mistakes that my friends claim they wouldn’t have made. I mull this over until I’m satisfied and have come to grips with how I screwed up or inadvertently created a negative impression on others. (Please don’t ask why I spend too much time reflecting)
That being said, I’m certain all failing results I’ve been part of aren’t always caused primarily by my deficiencies. Deciding whom to blame is not a productive activity; it’s a waste of time.
However, I’m hoping my insight and reflection will provide perspective that will help others who like to mull things over.
I’ve decided that a lot of times, errors are combinations of misinterpreted facts, emotionally-charged mis-judgements and unnecessary conclusions people make about others.
The problem is, often times we tend to think our abilities to decipher and decode human behavior are a gazillion times better than they actually are. Sadly, we are only wasting our time when we sit and analyze others’ actions to try and determine WHY they behave the way they do.
Fact is, people’s motivations change all the time. Even if you pinpoint another’s motives and intentions, they aren’t helpful. For instance, if you’re someone’s boss, then your role requires you reduce risk by assessing others’ behaviors to predict their future behaviors – not judge your direct’s value as an individual.
A. Needless to say, a person who believes he/she has the natural Freudian acumen and capacity (and time) to analyze enough behavioral data to comprehend others’ intentions is ineffective.
Again, ineffective. Why?
- you’re not Freud.
- you’re not smart enough to make those conclusions.
- you don’t know the person’s background (even if you do dig and waste time and resources to find background information about a person)
- you’re not in the person’s head.
- Your conclusions don’t matter and will probably won’t contribute to your overall purpose.