Retrospectives: Gen.Y Rants on Relationships… (no pictures)

Let me be the first to tell you that I’m far from perfect. (This is an understatement)

I’ve screwed up simple situations that most of you would’ve probably handled with more maturity, tact and foresight.  

*enter growing pains + embarrassing realizations

I take time to wax introspective on my behavior, my thinking, my values, et cetera…to understand how I managed to make silly mistakes that my friends claim they wouldn’t have made. I mull this over until I’m satisfied and have come to grips with how I screwed up or inadvertently created a negative impression on others. (Please don’t ask why I spend too much time reflecting)

That being said, I’m certain all failing results I’ve been part of aren’t always caused primarily by my deficiencies. Deciding whom to blame is not a productive activity; it’s a waste of time.

OBJECTIVE:
However, I’m hoping my insight and reflection will provide perspective that will help others who like to mull things over.

CONCLUSION: 
I’ve decided that a lot of times, errors are combinations of misinterpreted facts, emotionally-charged mis-judgements and unnecessary conclusions people make about others.

The problem is, often times we tend to think our abilities to decipher and decode human behavior are a gazillion times better than they actually are. Sadly, we are only wasting our time when we sit and analyze others’ actions to try and determine WHY they behave the way they do.

Fact is, people’s motivations change all the time. Even if you pinpoint another’s motives and intentions, they aren’t helpful. For instance, if you’re someone’s boss, then your role requires you reduce risk by assessing others’ behaviors to predict their future behaviors – not judge your direct’s value as an individual.

Again, motivations will probably change. Behavioral tendencies will less likely change that much. 



CHALLENGES:

A. Needless to say, a person who believes he/she has the natural Freudian acumen and capacity (and time) to analyze enough behavioral data to comprehend others’ intentions is ineffective.

Again, ineffective. Why?

  1. you’re not Freud.
  2. you’re not smart enough to make those conclusions.
  3. you don’t know the person’s background (even if you do dig and waste time and resources to find background information about a person)
  4. you’re not in the person’s head.
  5. Your conclusions don’t matter and will probably won’t contribute to your overall purpose.
B. Many people attach their emotional response to others’ behaviors and consider it in their analysis of the individual. This leads to inaccurate assessments and relationship problems.
For example, some people (ahem) tend to be more assertive than others. This is fact. We all have different behavioral tendencies.
For instance, some may talk more quickly, occasionally interrupt you while your speaking, etc… However, these behaviors are not done to offend or hurt others’ feelings. They are merely tendencies that are emotionally neutral (most of the time in a professional environment). The person speaking often does not consider it an affront to behave more assertively than you. It is merely part of their behavioral inclinations as an individual.
*enter behavioral diversity What a concept!
C. As you can see, this could be a big problem at the workplace. 
For example, if a “boss” takes offense to his/her direct’s behavioral tendencies then decides said person is “rude”, “disrespectful”, etc… it will create a culture that shuts out good ideas and good people. 
A person who decides another is “disrespectful” vs. considering that the person’s behavior is “different” from what is familiar to themselves is focused on judgement and is not separating fact from emotion. Attaching these labels on people is not productive, correct, professional or a good technique for effective collaboration.
CLOSING THOUGHT:
Why not create less conflict by understanding that people each have their own behavioral tendencies and spend less time figuring out why the person who offended you is less ____________ than you? 
That way, you can productively help improve others’ behaviors to achieve the outcomes you mutually desire without creating discomfort between one another? What do you think?

…more rants

Youth In The Office – Called out comment (Forbes.com) repost

Forbes   Called-Out Comment Alert

The article:


“I’m 24. I live in New York City. I hate my job. Of course, I’m not supposed to say that. I’m supposed to feel accomplished to be young and employed and have benefits in this economic environment.


My life is a series of boxes on an assembly line. Today is just another box on my calendar. Every day I shuffle between a city apartment and an office cube, typing into rectangles, sending papers, signing papers, filing papers. What I do is not important. That’s the problem….”



Our response:

 Dear youth in the office: I, too, belong in this group. And, I, too, have felt your frustration. I’ve held various occupations since I was 16, and I’ve pushed paper in Dilbert’s office. I struggle between not feeling on track to achieve my full potential and a reality check. If I may make a suggestion that would provide you with a fresh set of eyes, it would be this: …
Sit in a “real” diner. One that Jonathan Gold would never been interested in visiting. Perhaps one in a struggling small town. Take a seat, look into the kitchen and observe the hourly workers prepare your meal.
Breathing in fumes and lard day after day in hairnets covered in grease…Then observe them when they clean up at the end of the day. Rinsing the kitchen mats, rinsing other people’s food off dishes, mopping the floor (I used to whine about this). Then reflect on your perspective again. Passion about one’s work often comes from being proud of the job you’ve done no matter what type of work you do. Pride in one’s work brings the “joy” you described. Enjoyment in one’s work comes with the sense of ownership you get when you give even the smallest paper-pushing task your absolute best effort while biting your tongue. It comes from feeling like you’ve grown and have crossed a rite of passage. All those people at the top whom I admire and strive to emulate have had to “do the dishes” at some point in their lives. It’s a prerequisite and a rite of passage for anyone on the path to achievement. Best of luck to you. Onward!


You received this email because you chose to receive alerts on Called-Out comments. 


Your comment was called out!


On this post: Youth In The Office: Confessions Of A Fed-Up Employee



Twitter: Please chat with us @PrettyPinkPro

#Follow @prettypinkpro – dialogue, weekly chats, FAQ

#Follow @prettyproductiv – productivity tips, tools and 2012 resolution statuses tracked w/ #poniesGTD

Q1. How can an online community provide motivation and resources to help others reach their potential? PLS SHARE & RT! Many thx.
#poniesGTD

@prettypinkpro: "Hire Friday Twitter Chat" (aka #HFChat)…recap by @EmploymentGuide

The quoted dialogue below was gathered by Brandon Lawson (aka @EmploymentGuide) during an online chat on Twitter last week. These weekly discussions are referred to as “HFChats” – for Hire Friday chats. The discussions between job seekers, and HR professionals provide insight to how hiring decisions are made.
We’re glad Brandon found our response worth mentioning on his site. Thanks, Brandon!
05. December 2011 | Show Originial
This past Friday, we took part in another Hire Friday Chat forum on Twitter. If you were not a part of the fun, I’ll bring you up to speed. Our Hire Friday Chat topic was about The Art of Asking Interview Questions, and was hosted by John Kador (@jkador) and Adam Eisenstein (@McGrawHillJobs). This was a very educational forum, explaining why it is important for jobseekers to ask questions during the interview. Here is a recap of the chat’s questions and some of the best answers: 
Q1. Why is it important to ask questions? 
A1: @JanisSpirit: Asking questions shows engagement, involvement and wanting the job. ASK! 
Q2. What kinds of questions are appropriate to ask?
A2: @DavidALee: Ask questions you can’t find answers elsewhere. If its on the website and you ask…Fail!
Q3. Should you save your questions until the end of the interview?
A3: @BrendenMWright: An interview is a conversation, a dialogue. It’s not a cross-examination. Engage!  
Q4. What are the best questions you’ve heard?
A4: @prettypinkpro: What is the leadership like in the organization? What is the leadership like in this particular division? 
A4: 
@comerecommended: That I’ve heard: “How would you define ‘success’ at this position?”
Q5. Should you ask the interviewer for a critique?
A5: @MikePetras: Ask in softer way: What is the next step in the process? Sometimes they’ll tip their hand. 
Q6. Why should you ask for the job?
A6: @ResumeDrEliz: Sure. If you truly want the position, close with a powerful, enthusiastic statement that says just that. 

Employment Guide.com article here

(Thanks for the mention, @EmploymentGuide!)

Regards,

@prettypinkpro