Boyfriends w/ D1 backgrounds = better relationships (teams)

“How do you manage people who are better than you?”

There Is An I In Team: HBR Presentation w/ Mark De Rond and Angela Herrin
Marvel comics, team, Xmen

Marvel comics, team, Xmen

I listened to a recent web presentation provided by the Harvard Business Review titled, “There Is An I In Team”.

I’m fascinated by collaboration among team members as a result of having had a couple of long term boyfriends who played Division I sports (Hot!).

It made very little sense to me in college that men can experience anger and frustration with a teammate or rival, duke it out, then grab a beer and hang out as friends the following day.

They seemed to be able to separate their roles on their teams from who they are off the team. But, how?!?!?

These abilities — a) getting over setbacks and moving forward, and b) separating one’s role on and off his/her team — are paramount to one’s chances of success in large organizations (i.e. Professor Xavier’s school for the gifted, or if you prefer reality, large world class corporations).

Marvel comics, team, Xmen

The HBR presentation I mentioned  is one of the better studies on how the best teams function, what makes teams effective, and how to manage teams to accomplish wins. De Rond takes his observations of university rowing teams and boat races to examine coordination between team members.

One insightful observation De Rond discovered in the results of team surveys is that high performers typically underestimate their own teammates**. And, as we all have experienced, this makes high performers or those who are highly intelligent dismissive of others.

If this is true, what can we do to exploit the value high performers can provide while mitigating the risks these high performers’ behavioral tendencies often cause?

Surprisingly, the answer isn’t found by forcing all team members to get along. It turns out that expressing emotional experiences and venting to teammates create winning performance***.

While most of us define team harmony as an absence of competitiveness between members, this is only half of the story. Competition (“lack of harmony”) cannot truly be forced out of individuals because it is innate. If suppressed, competition resurfaces in more destructive forms under the radar of team leaders and creates more dysfunction than if they were acknowledged, accepted and resolved in a psychologically safe and moderated space.

My favorite take away from this presentation is this: 

Harmony cannot be forced in teams. Harmony is created naturally when teams experience wins and achieve great things through collaboration with one another.

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Great question. (via @RonaldSkelton) #Responsible #Consumerism

Look at the last thing you bought, what problem did it solve, what benefit did you buy?

— Ronald Skelton (@ronaldskelton) May 6, 2012

How much thought do we put into where we spend our time, energy and money? Do you consider how the product in your shopping basket got to your hand? How was it manufactured? Whose idea was it to create this? What was intended when the decision to produce the product was made?

Let us know — do you think it matters???

We encourage you to pause and think about what message you’re helping create each time you make a purchase or decision. What you buy makes a bigger statement than you think — it supports ideas, practices and institutions. Be smart. Choose wisely.

Thanks for stopping by.

All the best,

3P

 

This will make you smarter > Defining “genius”. (Video)

I often revisit this conversation between Malcolm Gladwell and television journalist, Robert Krulwich where they discuss what defines a “genius”.

This conversation looks at the following topics and questions:

  • Is it “good” to segregate the superstars from the average stars?
  • What makes Tiger “Tiger Woods”?
  • What if it was a rule that we couldn’t ask one another from which university we graduated?
  • What is the “selection effect”?
  • Is our education system “…run like a modeling agency”?

(If you don’t have a flash player, please use this link to view the interview. Thanks for stopping by.)

3P

It may not be pink, but it helps tell our story…(img)

Connect  … in fancy high-heeled shoes (“pretend” high-heeled shoes are okay, too)!!!

Don’t be shy – reach out and connect!

… in fancy high-heeled shoes (“pretend” shoes will do)!

Happy networking!

3P

Is anyone listening? (Video)

Why have we become afraid of conversation…intimacy…relationships???

Poignant and sad perspective re: how we are being shaped by technology by psychologist, Sherry Turkle.

 

Who are your heroes? (img)

We asked our readers to identify and share images of ‘heroes’ on our board, and the results were diverse..
Some shared images of fictional characters, while others posted images of pets.
In the end, we can certainly see how the shared images can serve as visual inspiration.

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How’s YOUR day goin’??

I have the worst headache today.

Ever feel like there’s way too much to think about all at once?!?!?  Well you’re not the only one, sister!!!

Sometimes…It’s just one  of those days and that’s just that! I think I’ll just sit still, close my eyes and breathe…

All the best,

Meg

*Raises Hand* “Guilty!!!” (img)

This happens when one’s preferred medium  is Social Media.

Source: tumblr.com via Pretty on Pinterest

Kindness isn’t always sweet…

Know what occurred to me earlier? Kindness isn’t always expressed in a pleasant sounding voice. Sometimes it’s disappointing when someone makes a decision that’s for our own best interest.

Fill in the blank: ________________ make adults insecure. (Vote & share!) Thank you.

Thank you for taking time to stop by our site to share your thoughts.

Do come back to see which answer got the most votes.

Have a beautiful day!!!

(P.S. Cut yourself some slack…we’re all probably much more amazing than we give ourselves credit for!)

You WILL stumble…

How would you describe the “Pink Ponies” brand? (discussion)

Hello, friends! In 25 words or less, how would you describe your initial impression of Pretty Pink Ponies?

Thanks in advance for your input.

Women In Business (Infographic)

Women In Business (Infographic)

Women In Business (Infographic)

Courtesy of MBA Online Program.com

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“Losing friends” to adulthood…

Image

girlfriends

“I’m pregnant”, she happily delivers in a text message. Continue reading

"It’s Lin-describable!" (SNL/Jeremy Lin spoof)

Lin

I’m sure you’ve already seen this. If so, it’s worth seeing again. If not, what are your thoughts? Continue reading

Difficult Conversations: A step-by-step dialogue template

I received simple but important communication tips tonight. Continue reading

How To Respond to Rude Behavior… (Per Twitter experts)

Stephanie Tanner (Full House)

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Got Enemies?

Quote of the day #Judgement

“Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault. Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope. They are the elect to whom beautiful things mean only Beauty. There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.”

― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray


(Love to Bridget for sharing this with me.)

Retrospectives: Gen.Y Rants on Relationships… (no pictures)

Let me be the first to tell you that I’m far from perfect. (This is an understatement)

I’ve screwed up simple situations that most of you would’ve probably handled with more maturity, tact and foresight.  

*enter growing pains + embarrassing realizations

I take time to wax introspective on my behavior, my thinking, my values, et cetera…to understand how I managed to make silly mistakes that my friends claim they wouldn’t have made. I mull this over until I’m satisfied and have come to grips with how I screwed up or inadvertently created a negative impression on others. (Please don’t ask why I spend too much time reflecting)

That being said, I’m certain all failing results I’ve been part of aren’t always caused primarily by my deficiencies. Deciding whom to blame is not a productive activity; it’s a waste of time.

OBJECTIVE:
However, I’m hoping my insight and reflection will provide perspective that will help others who like to mull things over.

CONCLUSION: 
I’ve decided that a lot of times, errors are combinations of misinterpreted facts, emotionally-charged mis-judgements and unnecessary conclusions people make about others.

The problem is, often times we tend to think our abilities to decipher and decode human behavior are a gazillion times better than they actually are. Sadly, we are only wasting our time when we sit and analyze others’ actions to try and determine WHY they behave the way they do.

Fact is, people’s motivations change all the time. Even if you pinpoint another’s motives and intentions, they aren’t helpful. For instance, if you’re someone’s boss, then your role requires you reduce risk by assessing others’ behaviors to predict their future behaviors – not judge your direct’s value as an individual.

Again, motivations will probably change. Behavioral tendencies will less likely change that much. 



CHALLENGES:

A. Needless to say, a person who believes he/she has the natural Freudian acumen and capacity (and time) to analyze enough behavioral data to comprehend others’ intentions is ineffective.

Again, ineffective. Why?

  1. you’re not Freud.
  2. you’re not smart enough to make those conclusions.
  3. you don’t know the person’s background (even if you do dig and waste time and resources to find background information about a person)
  4. you’re not in the person’s head.
  5. Your conclusions don’t matter and will probably won’t contribute to your overall purpose.
B. Many people attach their emotional response to others’ behaviors and consider it in their analysis of the individual. This leads to inaccurate assessments and relationship problems.
For example, some people (ahem) tend to be more assertive than others. This is fact. We all have different behavioral tendencies.
For instance, some may talk more quickly, occasionally interrupt you while your speaking, etc… However, these behaviors are not done to offend or hurt others’ feelings. They are merely tendencies that are emotionally neutral (most of the time in a professional environment). The person speaking often does not consider it an affront to behave more assertively than you. It is merely part of their behavioral inclinations as an individual.
*enter behavioral diversity What a concept!
C. As you can see, this could be a big problem at the workplace. 
For example, if a “boss” takes offense to his/her direct’s behavioral tendencies then decides said person is “rude”, “disrespectful”, etc… it will create a culture that shuts out good ideas and good people. 
A person who decides another is “disrespectful” vs. considering that the person’s behavior is “different” from what is familiar to themselves is focused on judgement and is not separating fact from emotion. Attaching these labels on people is not productive, correct, professional or a good technique for effective collaboration.
CLOSING THOUGHT:
Why not create less conflict by understanding that people each have their own behavioral tendencies and spend less time figuring out why the person who offended you is less ____________ than you? 
That way, you can productively help improve others’ behaviors to achieve the outcomes you mutually desire without creating discomfort between one another? What do you think?

…more rants

"Fallen Princesses" by Dina Goldstein – a favorite post

Amazing work by Dina Goldstein, “Fallen Princesses” examines the untold story of princesses lives after the happily ever-after.

These works place Fairy Tale characters in modern day scenarios. In all of the images the Princess is placed in an environment that articulates her conflict. The ‘…happily ever after’ is replaced with a realistic outcome and addresses current issues… Disney’s perfect Princesses [are] juxtaposed with real issues that were affecting women around me, such as illness, addiction and self-image issues.

Famous photographer, Annie Leibovitz, is also credited for her beautiful work photographing celebrities as Disney Princesses.  Let’s examine the different messages their images convey:

Snow White courtesy of Dina Goldstein (Fallen Princesses)

by Annie Leibovitz (Rachel Weisz)

Ariel by Dina Goldstein (Fallen Princesses)

by Annie Leibovitz 

Cinderella by Dina Goldstein (Fallen Princesses)

What an impactful way to reveal the “other side” of the sought-after-fairy-tale-lives we imagined as girls.   I am a girly-girl, however, it’s important to have a reality check once-in-a-while.

Dina Goldstein’s photographs serve just that purpose – and well.  What a force to counteract the ever-so-influential princess cartoons children are exposed to.

Belle by Dina Goldstein (Fallen Princesses)
by Annie Leibovitz (Penelope Cruz as Belle)

Pocahontas by Dina Goldstein (Fallen Princesses)

by Annie Leibovitz (Jessica Biel as Pocahontas)
The Disney Princesses

Do well in school, young ladies!!!

3P

YEAH!!!!!!!! What SHE said!!! (Youtube video)

OMG! This is the best thing.

I’ve never met Riley, but I remember having the same fit at the toy store when I was her age…*whining that  it’s not fair!!!

Dear Twitter…I can’t quit you…(book review)

I recently read the book, Twitterville (2009, Shel Israel), before I committed my time on Twitter.com.

I wanted an understanding of Twitter’s history and main purpose.

What was most interesting was Israel’s belief that Twitter can be an effective tool for creating authentic “communities” of like-minded individuals providing access to others who share your passions, interests and fears eliminating geography as an impediment to making “real” connections.
While I’m excited to experience that it is possible to create a sense of authentic community online,  I notice that Twitter is also flooded with wanna-be “Social Media Experts”, “Social Media Entrepreneurs”, and various permutations of ‘bots and wanna-be marketing gurus whose contributions are not their original thoughts, but scheduled tweets of redundant thoughts with links to their sites and ads.
The result? Worthless connections with bots and phony Twitter accounts (pgs. 241-250, Twitterville).

<enter hashtags: (#Twitter, #prettypinkponies, #SEO, #marketing, #relationships, #Twitterville, #books)

Am I guilty of promoting our site via Twitter? Yes. However, I’m genuinely interested in understanding  the people behind the #hashtags. I aim to provide information I find useful and I’m not selling anything.

(warning: tangent)
*I spend a lot of time with my Twitter friends (…so much so, that my non-Twitter friends have slowly begun to resent me). I’m not bragging and I’m not necessarily proud of this. This is just how things happen to have panned out naturally.*
Anyway, while it’s pretty awesome that one can find worthwhile discussions, support, knowledge and expert opinions on Twitter, it’s not as easy as scheduling Tweets. You’ve gotta put in the time, and you’ve gotta sit through discouraging lag where you don’t connect with others for a while.
Most people become frustrated with Twitter because they don’t see the results they want overnight. They don’t understand Twitter’s non “SEO” value and buy into Klout score, numbers, “points” and computer-based algorithms that make their existence on Twitter more about marketing analytics than actually building relationships.
I’ve observed that Twitter users who truly connect are those who put themselves on the line and risk being wrong, disliked or unpopular out of loyalty for their authentic individual brands.
The others, the “so-called” digital marketers, redundantly post about digital marketing ad nauseam (yawn) and are ineffective in keeping followers engaged. The experience of building a genuine community on Twitter with relevant people (vs. buying friends) is a worthwhile lesson in patience, relationship-building, community contribution (and, naturally, social media’s version of marketing). Relationships with clients, peers, professionals, etc… aren’t built on superficial involvement via auto-tweets. The connection people want are similar to what offline relationships require – engagement and reciprocation.
People want to experience interaction with you.

The most valuable and interesting take-away from the book is Twitter’s unique ability to create success for its most generous contributors.
My point? Twitter is a great tool to connect and build solid networks that require more than tweets as the relationships develop. However, Twitter is also littered with thousands of shell accounts and calculated SEO atuo-tweets that require time to filter through.
As in most relationships, if you have the time to sit through the boring part and filter out the irrelevant individuals without content, you can make the ROI on your time spent on Twitter more than worthwhile.
Thanks for reading (and, thanks for connecting on Twitter, Facebook, our site, or in spirit).
Cheers,
(#Twitter, #prettypinkponies, #SEO, #marketing, #relationships, #Twitterville, #books)
“Twitter is over capacity” error image

Ten years in "corporate America"…

…and, I didn’t even get a lousy shirt!

How Facebook Posts Affect Your Job Hunt (image)

Survey question:  Have you ever rejected a candidate because of what you saw about them on a social networking site?


(survey below)


Below is part of an article published on TheAtlantic.Com

What are your thoughts?






I Enjoy Being A Girl (Youtube clip)



(Great “special effects” towards the end…watch for it in the mirror scene.  It’s like Avatar, but more realistic)

‘Masculine Norms’: Why Working Women Find It Hard to Reach the Top – Knowledge@Wharton

I don’t understand why professional norms are classified as either “masculine” or “feminine”. Perhaps a professional norm is sufficient without the hyper-focus on gender issues which mostly create unnecessary inflammation around examples.


‘Masculine Norms’: Why Working Women Find It Hard to Reach the Top – Knowledge@Wharton

Youth In The Office: Fed-Up! (Forbes article)

Forbes   Called-Out Comment Alert

The article:


“I’m 24. I live in New York City. I hate my job. Of course, I’m not supposed to say that. I’m supposed to feel accomplished to be young and employed and have benefits in this economic environment.


My life is a series of boxes on an assembly line. Today is just another box on my calendar. Every day I shuffle between a city apartment and an office cube, typing into rectangles, sending papers, signing papers, filing papers. What I do is not important. That’s the problem….”



Our response:

 Dear youth in the office: I, too, belong in this group. And, I, too, have felt your frustration. I’ve held various occupations since I was 16, and I’ve pushed paper in Dilbert’s office. I struggle between not feeling on track to achieve my full potential and a reality check. If I may make a suggestion that would provide you with a fresh set of eyes, it would be this: …
Sit in a “real” diner. One that Jonathan Gold would never been interested in visiting. Perhaps one in a struggling small town. Take a seat, look into the kitchen and observe the hourly workers prepare your meal.
Breathing in fumes and lard day after day in hairnets covered in grease…Then observe them when they clean up at the end of the day. Rinsing the kitchen mats, rinsing other people’s food off dishes, mopping the floor (I used to whine about this). Then reflect on your perspective again. Passion about one’s work often comes from being proud of the job you’ve done no matter what type of work you do. Pride in one’s work brings the “joy” you described. Enjoyment in one’s work comes with the sense of ownership you get when you give even the smallest paper-pushing task your absolute best effort while biting your tongue. It comes from feeling like you’ve grown and have crossed a rite of passage. All those people at the top whom I admire and strive to emulate have had to “do the dishes” at some point in their lives. It’s a prerequisite and a rite of passage for anyone on the path to achievement. Best of luck to you. Onward!


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On this post: Youth In The Office: Confessions Of A Fed-Up Employee


Article: Women don’t want to be rescued…

Forbes   Called-Out Comment Alert


Your comment was called out!

On this post: Women Don’t Want To Be Rescued, A Competent Cowboy Will Do

 Check out this clever photography exhibit titled “Fallen Princesses” by Dina Goldstein. http://www.myprettypinkponies.com/2011/09/fallen-princesses-by-dina-goldstein.html

Top 5 Reasons Unemployment Stinks…(img)

If you’re anything like my beautiful and amazingly brilliant friends, you, too, might suspect I’m having a great time not having to go to work everyday.  But, alas, life is not all champagne, caviar and sleeping in for the unemployed.


Here are my top 5 gripes about being unemployed:



5.  I have no excuse not to return my friends’ phone calls (my “brilliant and beautiful” friends)

Isn’t “work” always such a convenient excuse to avoid life outside of work?  Let’s be honest.


4.  I simply have a tougher time staying slim when I’m not stressed out everyday losing sleep and forgetting to eat.

Being online all day submitting resumes and conducting interviews via Skype is bad for my behind.  Staying indoors is bad for my behind.  Can’t skype while on the treadmill, unfortunately.  And, when one’s in her PJs all day, there isn’t much motivation to go outside, drive through all that L.A. traffic just to use the treadmill for 30 measly minutes.


3.  Speaking of which, I have waaay toooo many suits and not enough pajamas!  I only have about three lounging “outfits” to wear!


2.  When something goes awry, I can’t call and yell at the I.T. guy!  I have to try and fix the computer myself!!!

…and last, but certainly not least….

#1.  It’s hot in L.A. and the air-conditioning in my apartment (if I can call it that) is about as effective as summoning Batman using a candle and shadow hand-puppets instead of a Kleig light!

You never know how important a cool office is until it’s gone.  So stop complaining that you have to go to work!

(#6 was…the absence of free pizza and cookies the office serves during staff meetings.  Almost made the cut.)

; P

3P