Boyfriends w/ D1 backgrounds = better relationships (teams)

“How do you manage people who are better than you?”

There Is An I In Team: HBR Presentation w/ Mark De Rond and Angela Herrin
Marvel comics, team, Xmen

Marvel comics, team, Xmen

I listened to a recent web presentation provided by the Harvard Business Review titled, “There Is An I In Team”.

I’m fascinated by collaboration among team members as a result of having had a couple of long term boyfriends who played Division I sports (Hot!).

It made very little sense to me in college that men can experience anger and frustration with a teammate or rival, duke it out, then grab a beer and hang out as friends the following day.

They seemed to be able to separate their roles on their teams from who they are off the team. But, how?!?!?

These abilities — a) getting over setbacks and moving forward, and b) separating one’s role on and off his/her team — are paramount to one’s chances of success in large organizations (i.e. Professor Xavier’s school for the gifted, or if you prefer reality, large world class corporations).

Marvel comics, team, Xmen

The HBR presentation I mentioned  is one of the better studies on how the best teams function, what makes teams effective, and how to manage teams to accomplish wins. De Rond takes his observations of university rowing teams and boat races to examine coordination between team members.

One insightful observation De Rond discovered in the results of team surveys is that high performers typically underestimate their own teammates**. And, as we all have experienced, this makes high performers or those who are highly intelligent dismissive of others.

If this is true, what can we do to exploit the value high performers can provide while mitigating the risks these high performers’ behavioral tendencies often cause?

Surprisingly, the answer isn’t found by forcing all team members to get along. It turns out that expressing emotional experiences and venting to teammates create winning performance***.

While most of us define team harmony as an absence of competitiveness between members, this is only half of the story. Competition (“lack of harmony”) cannot truly be forced out of individuals because it is innate. If suppressed, competition resurfaces in more destructive forms under the radar of team leaders and creates more dysfunction than if they were acknowledged, accepted and resolved in a psychologically safe and moderated space.

My favorite take away from this presentation is this: 

Harmony cannot be forced in teams. Harmony is created naturally when teams experience wins and achieve great things through collaboration with one another.

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Titles & all of that ” ” … (introspection)

I’m often cut off mid-sentence and asked, “But..what do you wanna do?”.

Fair enough question.

(SPOILER: There are no images in this post)

I suppose operating from the gut can make sense to one’s self but not necessarily to others.

It isn’t as if I responsibly mapped out my professional trajectory like I was taught to do…Instead, I followed my heart (whatever that means) and learned important lessons along the way. But, that doesn’t help clarify things, does it?

Unfortunately, passion can lack the efficient jargon demanded by those who wish to make a quick assessment of another’s perceived added value.

How silly was I to add “passion” to the bulletpoints on my resume? The entire Dalek population would explode attempting to grasp this concept.

Passion is tough to quantify. Just ask any successful entrepreneur.

That said, using a wordcloud tool has failed to capture the essence of the value I can add to any organization – instinct, experience, heart, loyalty, intuition, perserverance, empathy, connection, et al…These terms are not trending on LinkedIn — Google alerts would’ve informed me, and I just checked.

So, since my unorthodox list of accomplishments are invisible to search engines (and, incomprehensible to Daleks), I decided to explicity define “success” for myself as a courtesy to my new friends and acquaintances.

Here is what my point B looks like:

*You’re having your A.M. coffee while reading about the biggest networking event of the year on a page in the WSJ.

(Blurb for one of many well-known international events)

The text reads:

Notable Speakers include:

Abby Joseph Cohen one of the most respected figures in investing circles and is the chief US investment strategist for Goldman Sachs Group, Inc.

Anna Wintour, Editor-in-Chief, Vogue

Carrie Fisher, Actress best known as Princess Leia

Meg Gomez, Makes handmade stationery & sells them on Etsy

Sarah Blakely, CEO & Founder, Spanx

Genevieve Bos, Founding Publisher, Pink Magazine

Sheila Kahanek, former Accountant, Enron.

*end scene

I hope that helped clarify some things for you.

Have a great weekend!!!

Best,

Meg

*end scene

 ;P
(SPOILER: To be continued…)

“I’m a big girl now”, a message from Katy Perry (imgs)

So you still think style’s just a bunch of fluff?

Katy Perry’s photographs by Jannson in Interview mag beg to differ.

When you’re in the media’s eye and every step you take is scrutinized, publicized and tweeted, it’s tough to create a brand without your audience’s approval and agreement. It could be even harder to break out of your teeny-bopper persona … unless you’ve got the right tools and strategy to to make your desired new message clear.

The photographs of Katy Perry below successfully reposition the celebrity and communicates a clear message. What’s the message???

Take me seriously; I’m a talented and professional performer.

3P

(Blk/Wht Photography by MIKAEL JANSSON)

Funny…

 

This will make you smarter > Defining “genius”. (Video)

I often revisit this conversation between Malcolm Gladwell and television journalist, Robert Krulwich where they discuss what defines a “genius”.

This conversation looks at the following topics and questions:

  • Is it “good” to segregate the superstars from the average stars?
  • What makes Tiger “Tiger Woods”?
  • What if it was a rule that we couldn’t ask one another from which university we graduated?
  • What is the “selection effect”?
  • Is our education system “…run like a modeling agency”?

(If you don’t have a flash player, please use this link to view the interview. Thanks for stopping by.)

3P

Mental toughness, courage, heart & other lessons from sports (#3PChat)

3P curates Jeff Rickard’s sportscaster voice…

We chatted tonight with Jeff Rickard (@RickardonSports) for tips and tools from the world of sports.

This is an ongoing discussion we encourage others to discuss. Here’s the link:

#3pcwin TweetChat at: http://tweetchat.com/room/3pcwin

 

Seize each opportunity!!

3P

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The greatest hazard in life…

“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

Leo F. Buscaglia

Wishing everyone a beautiful week!

3P

Is anyone listening? (Video)

Why have we become afraid of conversation…intimacy…relationships???

Poignant and sad perspective re: how we are being shaped by technology by psychologist, Sherry Turkle.

 

Who are your heroes? (img)

We asked our readers to identify and share images of ‘heroes’ on our board, and the results were diverse..
Some shared images of fictional characters, while others posted images of pets.
In the end, we can certainly see how the shared images can serve as visual inspiration.

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How to effectively communicate with ANYONE…(guide)

I receive applicable and straightforward career advice by listening to the Manager Tools, LLC podcast.

One of the topics I found most useful is what hosts, Mark and Mike, refer to as “behavioral diversity”. In simple terms, behavioral diversity refers to the concept that our tendencies are some combination of four broad categories represented by the letters D,I,S & C in the DiSC model.

I won’t go into DiSC theory here as it is lengthy and there are better resources of information for this behavior identification model. You also have to take a test to better understand your own behavioral profile.

That said, if you’re already somewhat familiar with DiSC, the outline we provide in this post (below) of the basic behavior types may serve as a useful communication reference guide.

As Mark often says (via Drucker, perhaps), “communication is what the listener does”.

BeEffectiveWithDISC

Cheers!

Meg & the Ponies

Please note: the DiSC information was published and is owned by
© 2012 Manager Tools, LLC. All rights reserved

Women and authentic leadership (by @RHRIntlLLP/ RHR International)

The piece attached in this post was produced by RHR International (@RHRIntlLLP), an organization dedicated to improving the performance of individuals, teams and business organizations.

We find the study to be unique in that RHR uses quantitative research and analysis to better understand how internal experiences are demonstrated in outward the leadership behavior of women in executive levels.

“We explored the internal psychological processes and resources of women leaders – “their inside,”
and how that interacts with “the outside” to create the experience of being a woman leader.”

Link to the article: Executive-Women-Leadership

You will make all kinds of mistakes…

You will make all kinds of mistakes…

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Kindness isn’t always sweet…

Know what occurred to me earlier? Kindness isn’t always expressed in a pleasant sounding voice. Sometimes it’s disappointing when someone makes a decision that’s for our own best interest.

Can I Be Fully Me?: Stages of Relational Development

“…it takes thirty years to mature emotionally,…”

via Can I Be Fully Me?: Stages of Relational Development.

Can love make you healthier and more immune to disease? #Love #Health …

Can love improve mental and physical health and aid in our  response to pain?

Can love  make us wiser?

© 2006-2010, all artwork and website copyright, http://www.carolinehu.com. All rights reserved.

Included in this post is a link to an interesting piece by Diane Ackerman on a new field in science, interpersonal neurobiology (in other words, the science of relationships).

The fundamental idea of interpersonal neurobiology draws its vigor from one of the great discoveries of our era: that the brain is constantly rewiring itself based on daily life.

What we pay most attention to defines who we are — physically altering our brains…

The article argues that how one chooses to spend the hours in our lives literally shapes our physical selves.

Continue reading the NYTimes article.

Caitlin Flanagan: Combating cupcake culture

National Post | Arts

By Kate Carraway

Caitlin Flanagan’s new book Girl Land posits that adolescent girls, negotiating the difficult transition from children to young women, are met with a culture that seeks to exploit and endanger them sexually. Flanagan (a contributor to The Atlantic and an often elegant writer who just as often applies a smug and wilful ignorance to established feminist arguments), writes that girls long “to be in two places at once: the safety of little girlhood, with the stuffed animals and the jump ropes and the simplicity of childhood, but also in the new place, in the arms of a lover whom she wants to ravish her, to deliver her to new shores.”

While Flanagan’s thesis might be a version of something true, and not only for 14-year-olds, her grossly prescriptive, subjective response has inspired a quick and brutal maelstrom of media ire.

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Confidently “un-pretty”. (images)

Audrey Hepburn
When I worked full time in corporate America, I was always polished and groomed at the office. I worked in an environment where presentation and details made a huge impact on the perception of one’s sense of professionalism.

That said, it was always so refreshing to become “un-pretty” during weekends.

What does it mean to be “un-pretty”? First, let’s take a look at what “pretty” means:

I define ‘pretty’ as being polite, pleasant and polished.  “Pretty” is the very essence of being a lady — coiffed hair, a manicure, a poise presentation, warm, approachable and socially graceful. (Think of a house party’s hostess – friendly and sociable). Someone “pretty” offers you coffee and cookies when you visit their homes. The “pretty” girl tells you how great you look (to simplify the concept); she is concerned about whether or not you’re comfortable and considers what your preferences are.

When I use the term “un-pretty”, I’m not implying that I made an effort to look unattractive (although, a lot of times, this was the case). What I mean is, my style of presentation was less ladylike and lacked the polish and niceties one would expect from a pageant-trained woman.

How does one achieve a “pretty” look?

Feminine make up highlighting the shape of one’s eyes + full lips + groomed brows and hairstyle + polished ready-to-face-the-camera style + tailored and put-togehter – any piece of hair out of place

I love the “un-pretty” side of my closet as much as the polished and tailored pieces I own. It’s necessary, at times, to wear wrinkled shirts, athletic shoes, cotton tees and unruly hair. I say this because I think it’s an advantage to be comfortable even without having to project the socially-constructed version of “girl”. You can be attractive in various ways — wearing pearls and a tiara or sneakers and a baseball cap.

To me, an un-pretty style can convey the gritty sexiness of Marlon Brando’s Stanley Kowalski.

Un-pretty means dressing with style without having to make a lot of effort — in So Cal this laid-back style is one that many non- L.A. natives try very hard to emulate. It’s the confidence in one’s self without having to look like a doll who took two hours to apply make up.

It’s an image that actors and models (who spend their working days in full make-up) naturally have on their days off. A look that conveys the understanding that if they wanted to, they could very well shave their scruff and be as pretty as they come. The “unpretty” girl doesn’t necessarily say ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ in a bubbly voice. She may give you a smirk or a nod of acknowledgement if she’s pleased with you.

Simplified, the “unpretty” girl asks you for a smoke without taking into consideration whether or not you approve of her smoking. She is not as self-conscious as her socially-graceful “pretty” girl counterpart.

How does one achieve this un-pretty too-cool-to-care style?

“undone hair” + cotton tee + element of relaxed or athletic gear – bubbly persona – string of pearls – “matchy-matchy” accessories + grit + attitude…

It’s an image that says, “I’ve got better things to do than try and please everyone I encounter on the street. I’m more than just eye-candy and amusement — I’ve got more important roles to play.” 
I’m sure Sienna Miller (above) is a very pleasant and classy lady. However, I can guarantee that there are probably times when she could care less about what flavor cupcake would make your day. On those days, if you stopped her in the street to chat with her about your exciting new puppy and tell her that it would be really cool to have a picture of you two together, she would somehow let you know that there are other priorities in her day that are a bit more important than hearing your about your puppy’s outfit and how much you’d love to update your Facebook profile picture.
Do you have an “un-pretty” side? How do you celebrate it?
More images of Pretty vs. Un-pretty
Meg@PoniesLLC.com
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Fill in the blank: ________________ make adults insecure. (Vote & share!) Thank you.

Thank you for taking time to stop by our site to share your thoughts.

Do come back to see which answer got the most votes.

Have a beautiful day!!!

(P.S. Cut yourself some slack…we’re all probably much more amazing than we give ourselves credit for!)

You WILL stumble…

You + Social Media = Career Advancement??? (#HBRChat Transcript)

 

What role does Social Media play in career advancement?

Harvard Business Review’s weekly chat discusses the topic with us…

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"It’s Lin-describable!" (SNL/Jeremy Lin spoof)

Lin

I’m sure you’ve already seen this. If so, it’s worth seeing again. If not, what are your thoughts? Continue reading

Difficult Conversations: A step-by-step dialogue template

I received simple but important communication tips tonight. Continue reading

How To Respond to Rude Behavior… (Per Twitter experts)

Stephanie Tanner (Full House)

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Quote of the day: #Accomplishment

“Those who boast of their descent, 
brag on what they owe to others.” 


Seneca 






Make your own mark…in fancy high-heeled shoes! #poniesGTD

…more rants

Would You Survive this Job Interview (video)?

Harvard Business Review asks us: Is Multi-tasking Good?


[<a href=”http://storify.com/hbrexchange/hbrchat-is-multitasking-good” target=”_blank”>View the story “HBRchat: Is Multitasking Good?” on Storify</a>]

Today’s BIG goal…

To walk confidently, albeit humbly…





…in fancy high-heeled shoes.


Sincerely,
Meg

Quote of the day #Judgement

“Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault. Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope. They are the elect to whom beautiful things mean only Beauty. There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.”

― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray


(Love to Bridget for sharing this with me.)

Career-Chic Sophisticate – A Visual Inspiration List…

Here’s a peak at some items on my list of my career style inspiration:
red tights with red pumps
classic trousers + blouse
nude nails
Black + grey pumps

What inspires your career wardrobe style?

For more images from my ever-growing list…visit PinkPoniesPins on Pinterest.

More on professional wear: Harper Bazaar’s How to Dress for Success article